One of the biggest things I've taken away from the Balanced Athlete functional movement training I've done with Johnny Gillespie is that "it's not about getting from A to B and fixing B. It's about making the journey - the movement - the space between - A and B - just as important."
At this point, even the guy who gives me parking tickets knows I'm moving to the San Jose area in the next 2 weeks - all because my brilliant, talented, incredible husband got a job as the Executive Director for the San Francisco 49ers Foundation. (check him out!). And this move comes with what we have coined: "#AllTheFeels."
This means: Happy, Sad, Excited, Terrified, Inspired, Nervous ... all at the same time.
As I go through this process: single parenting for 2 months as I try to sell a house, ensuring my day job isn't left high and dry, managing my dog (a temperamental, 12 year old, 80 lb mix with a bad bladder and weak hips), and exiting a yoga community that has had my back and helped me advance my teaching in every possible way - I wonder... do I look like a total nut job or what? Am I actually moving between A and B with grace? Cause I'm pretty sure I just screamed at my kids about spilling Cheerios as we prep for our open house this weekend ... #LowMoment.
So, lately, I'm think about what it means to transition. And not just "change" - but truly transition - from one version of "normal" to another. (Note: Linda Rosetti's "Women & Transition" does a great job explaining the difference). (Shout out to Kouri Ferris Wright and #TeamTimmy for helping me understand that "normal" is always a moving target.")
And what I've come away with is the following:
- Get a notebook. Write the things you want to / need to get done. There's something about hand-writing your stuff that feels like it's easier to remember and deal with.
- Get low & keep moving. Its easy to feel overwhelmed when you feel like you have to do everything at once. Put one foot in front of the other. Check things off the list in your notebook. If you keep plugging away - day by day it comes together. Don't ignore the list either. Most of it isn't as bad or as hard as you think. The hardest part of anything new is always, always, ALWAYS - the first few steps.
- Let go. When you get to a point where "it's just not gonna happen" - let it go. And don't hold it against yourself or anyone else. It's much harder to let go than it is to hold on and beat things to death. Don't blame yourself - or anyone else for it - truly - know when to fold 'em.
- Freak out. Not all the time and don't use it as an excuse to be a dick. But sometimes it's just fine to scream, cry and totally lose your shit. This part of the process is critical to moving through emotions and not getting stuck in them. Be compassionate with yourself when you do. Apologize to others if you were out of line. And move on. You're under pressure. Allow the kettle to release steam if it needs to.
- Ask for help. I'm terrible with this (with the exception of asking my mom who is a total badass). People will offer you help. Take it. It not only helps you - but it makes others feel good / needed.
- Seek and take advantage of any and all opportunities for self care. It's not easy when you're overwhelmed. But - when you can sleep well - sleep well. Aggressively pursue proper hydration. Nourish yourself - look for nutrient dense options. Exercise - even if it's a 30 minute walk or some squats and push ups (you'll feel better and be able to carry heavier loads when you feel strong). Meditate. I don't care if it's for 60 seconds. Sit in stillness and steady your mind. You'll do better with the other 5,000 things when you have a clear head.
- Surround yourself with positive people. It's super easy for me to complain. I work pretty hard to push positivity out when I'm stressed. But a recent study (I think I heard it on NPR) said the most successful people in the world gravitate to and surround themselves with positive people. Positive thinking and positive vibes impact the way you approach and interact with everyone and everything around you. Keep things moving in a positive direction, and you will reveal opportunity and solidarity and common connection. Push things negative and find yourself in cycles of anxiety, disconnectedness and discord. It's easy to complain. It's hard to acknowledge ALLLLL the good you do have at your base. Even simple stuff. Examples: Did you get a hot shower this morning? Check. Do you have unlimited access to food and water as needed? Check. Power? Check. Ridiculous options for entertainment? Check. Generally healthy? Check. Kids healthy? Check. So ... what would I be complaining about again? Perspective is hard to keep at the forefront - but damn if it doesn't reduce the stress level a bit and keep you on course.
Now - I haven't left yet. T-minus 12 days. But these are the things I keep telling myself as things get intense! And it does feel like they are working. If you've transitioned lately or have other thoughts or ideas - I'd love to hear from you!