Tuesday night I lost my shit in Whole Foods.
I went there thinking I was going to get all this nice stuff for my sister (it was her birthday) and just be such a super awesome sister and really make her day. However, grocery shopping with children is ... challenging. Add to the mix that a kid from Jackson's school was there running the Whole Foods 500 like a maniac. Now Jackson is 7 - he's a super kid - and generally he listens and is well behaved. Kingston however, is always ready to go from 1 to Tasmanian Devil with only the slightest push.
Bread is being pulled off shelves - both MY kids are running chasing this other kid (whose mother seems to be so hypnotized by facial cream that she doesn't notice her children are turning the store into an organic rave for anyone under the age of 8). Kingston manages to squeeze his little fingers between the glass cases that hold the over-priced bakery items and can get just close enough to dip his finger into the closest cupcake and scoop out little bits of frosting to eat. Screaming happens every time the rave leader pokes his head around the corner antagonizing my children to follow him into the realm of grocery chaos.
I'm yelling. When my 3 year old doesn't listen - I yell louder. I'm embarrassed. My kids are "those kids." I'm mad. I'm mad at my kids for not listening. I'm even MORE mad at the other mom who is now entranced with bakery items and doesn't seem to notice that her kid is teasing out the inner maniacs in my own children.
And then ... I get ashamed. I think, "What if someone from one of my classes saw me? Preaching inner peace by day - angry Whole Foods mother by night. I'm such a fraud."
And then I immediately pump the breaks. I remind myself that I'm doing the best I can with what I have. I remind myself that it's my job to control how I carry the burden. And even though it's not a perfect reaction at first - I possess the ability to recognize this and get a little softer with myself.
Why is this important? Why is it yoga? Because we all live in the real world.
99% of us aren't going to be "namaste love and light" every second of the human experience. However, yoga HAS given me is the ability to watch myself - see the reactiveness and self sabotage that my head instantly wants to do - the thought patterns that would take even MORE wind out of my sails - and in that moment extend myself a little compassion. Now I won't say I smiled and skipped out of there with my children singing "the sound of music" or anything - but I stopped hating on myself for not being a perfect yoga role model enough in the face of stress. I'm working the teachings too.
Takeaway: When you're a friend to yourself, you are much more likely to succeed with your goals than when you cut yourself down. Have your own back. Be a friend to yourself when you fall off track ... and never take children under the age of 10 to Whole Foods ;)